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Friday, June 09, 2006

Barbri Blues Vol. 2 

So there was this guy sitting in front of me at Barbri lecture the other day. He looked an awful lot like Mr. Wings and Vodka from the back, but was considerably more distinguished-looking from the front. I was just thinking this to myself when I noticed that he was not-so-subtly fondling the blond girl sitting next to him. Incidentally, she looked as though she'd run face first into something quite firm while her skull was still soft as an infant and nobody bothered to correct it. This is in sharp contrast to Mrs. Wings and Vodka, who's way hot. Way too hot for her husband.*

Back to the fondling. Okay, so it was more like a cuddle session. But having to view a cuddle session from behind during a 4-hour lecture on constitutional law by Erwin Chimerinsky is the equivalent, on the Adjusted Gross-o-meter (tm), of hearing the distinctive schlucking sound of bodily fluids in the bunk next to you at summer camp. How you could be even the slightest bit aroused while watching the shortest, dorkiest, and arguably ugliest man alive deliver a condensed con law outline from memory is a mystery that I sincerely hope is never solved.

*Yes, I'm aware that starting a front page flame war with Wings is a bad idea. He's much funnier than I am, and he can write better than almost anyone. But he hasn't been blogging enough, and somebody's got to do something to drag him out of his Micromash-induced coma. So if he takes the bait, you can all thank me for being the butt of some really funny put-downs.

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