Tuesday, September 20, 2005

See His What Now? 

This would be excruciatingly hilarious if it wasn't so messed up.

So there's this judge who has a problem.
Prosecutors allege he masturbated with a penis pump under his robe while presiding over two murder trials and a civil trial in 2003. Thompson denies the allegations and said the penis pump seized in the case was a gag gift from a friend.
During two murder trials? Now I can understand if there's some civil case with sexy legal issues involved...say adverse possession or the res judicata effect of a 12(b)(6) dismissal for failure to state a claim. Who could fault a judge for whipping out the old penis pump and going at it under circumstances like that? Mmmmmm....res judicata effect of 12(b)(6) dismis--

Where was I? Right...I was discussing why this is in no way amusing.

Plus, at this point the judge has nothing more than an alleged problem. But can you imagine a judge being prosecuted for indecent exposure for behavior occuring in his courtroom where the evidence was anything short of damning?

Well...it just got more damning for the wanker formerly known as his honor. His lawyer has gone so far as to describe the penis pump as "prejudicial." Ya think? Maybe a little? Of course, according to the headline of the AP wire, the jury is to see an "alleged sex toy." Does that mean the defense's case involves a theory that the penis pump is not what it allegedly is? Perhaps a a snake-bite kit or a sno-cone machine?

Or perhaps they'll go with the Austin Powers defense.


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