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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Headlines and the Canine Conspiracy 

Thief Steals Poop from Woman Walking Dog

First off, this is the greatest opening line to an AP wire...ever.
The hunt is on for a turd burglar.
I'm not sure if the writer knows that the "turd burglar" thing is a rather offensive slur in some parts of the world, but political correctness aside, that's a funny ass intro.

But the more important part of this story comes later on:
He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at Misty [the dog] and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire, Hassen said.
Clearly, the canines have discovered some way to telekenetically jam our weapons systems. We're doomed I tell you...doomed!

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